Thirty Days of Thankful

Last Year, I decided to join the masses on Facebook and participate in "Thirty Days of Thankful".  Each day leading up to Thanksgiving I posted a little something I was thankful for whether it was big or small, personal or public.  This exercise helped me to refocus my thoughts to positives that surround me each and every day that often go unnoticed--my kids' giggles, a kind word from a coworker, a gesture of love from the hubby. . .things we enjoy in the moment, but move on from.  When I was forced to sit at the end of each day, reflect and choose one moment that touched my heart or one thing that impacted my day, I was required to shut out the negative of the day or to make lemonade out of an otherwise lemon of a day by finding the silver lining.

You see, as unattractive as it is, I tend to be a glass-half empty whiner when things get tough.  I envy those with the ability to have a sunny outlook in the middle of the darkest storm, yet I was hopeful that reflecting on my "thankfuls" each day would help to change that mindset--if only for thirty days.

About half-way through the month, a friend and mentor mentioned how much she was enjoying reading my thankful statement each day. (I am sure she was relieved to see a change from my usual ho-hum or snarky status updates.)  She then told me of a book that was written by a Godly woman who decided to take a similar challenge by "Daring to live fully, right where you are".  Ann Voskamp's beautiful book One Thousand Gifts soon found its way onto my nook reader and into my heart.  Her words touched my soul as she sought out moments each day that were gifts--the sheen of the soap bubbles, the rise of the moon.  Her words are a "celebration of Grace and a recognition of the power of gratitude" and a beautiful reminder of just how blessed we all are each day.

This year, as November rolled around I began to see Facebook Friends posting about the "30 days of Thankful Challenge" once again.  I began the month with gusto and loved the reminder to find a little positive each and everyday (a challenging task for a public school employee this time of year).  However, about a week into the challenge, I felt that something was missing and took a moment to reflect on what could make this challenge even better.  I realized that the people that I love most were missing out on my "Thankfuls".  Oftentimes, the hubby is too busy to catch up on Facebook during the week, so he was missing out on these moments of gratitude.  The Reporter and The Little Guy are too young for Facebook (obviously), so they too were missing out on Mommy's positives.  At that moment, I decided to make the "Thankfuls" personal this year.  I wanted them to understand how thankful I am for their presence in my life, but I also wanted to extend the challenge to my family--Could the Hubby and The Reporter find something meaningful to be thankful for each day?  Would they be able to look past the surface and find true grace in each moment?

I decided that each evening at dinner we would share our thankful thoughts for the day.  However, I wanted a way to document this challenge. I headed right out for the supplies.

I found beautiful Fall Scrapbook paper. . . .

Cut it into one inch strips. . . 

And waited until dinner. . .

That night at dinner, I pitched my idea to the family.  At the conclusion of the meal, I asked the Hubby and The Reporter to write down one thing that they were thankful for that day.  The first few days of "Thankfuls" were a struggle, but now that we are half-way through the month, the thoughts are becoming deeper and the thankfuls more sincere.  And our dining room is wrapped in gratitude. . . .

and our hearts are full of love.

Who knew that $1.50 purchase of scrapbook paper could have such an impact?

Got Milk?

World Breastfeeding Week Continues!  Did you miss my first post? Here I am for the second installment in our "Adventures in Breastfeeding"! This one is about some roadblocks we experienced, what we learned along the way and why it is worth it to persevere!

As new parents, life with the Reporter was all that we envisioned and more--crying, crying and more crying (and that was just me!), sleepless nights, and loads of laundry.  However, breastfeeding seemed to be the bright spot in all the cloudy days of new-parenthood.  It was the one thing that I felt confident in until about week three when we hit our first roadblock--oversupply.  I will spare you the details, but you should know that oversupply results in TONS of extra bags of frozen milk--a big plus when you are thinking about how you will escape from this screaming being at some point for more than 2 hours at a time.

I was giddy with excitement, thinking that I would have an incredible freezer-stash when I returned to work or just wanted to go get a few highlights in my hair to bring back some color to my life (besides the dark circles under my eyes).  However, that would require a baby that would accept milk from a BOTTLE.  Well, what was I thinking?  The Reporter would have NONE of that.  Yep, roadblock number 2.  And before you ask, yes, we tried EVERY trick in the book short of drilling a hole in her pacifier and hooking up a feeding tube. I would leave for extended periods of time (more than 2 hours in mommy-speak), thinking that she would surely get hungry enough to take milk from a bottle. "No baby will starve themselves to death," older women would tell me.  Well, obviously they had not met my little love.  I would return after a brief hiatus to screams and tears and an overly hungry baby.  Next up, The hubby tried holding the bottle under his arm to feed her, as if to simulate the position of breastfeeding.  Um, no.  Not happening.  We even went as far as to have me wear a shirt prior to the feeding, let the hubby put the shirt on to feed The Reporter and hope that he smelled enough like me to make her calm and encourage feeding.  Again, no go.  Luckily, I worked with a woman at that time, that had dealt with a similar situation.  She helped me to realize that some babies just have a preference, and you are it.  She was able to use a medicine cup to feed her girl, if push came to shove, but I knew that a medicine cup would only help so much.

We were a two-income household.  I HAD to return to work and I couldn't let my baby starve all day while I was away.  Again, luck was on my side.  I was able to take a position that allowed my sweet, strong-willed child to come in to feed every 3 hours.  At first, I was worried that it would impact my productivity and scheduling of students/clients.  However, after the first few weeks we got into a great routine and I looked forward to each feeding because it meant that I got to reconnect with my baby and take a minute to breathe during an otherwise busy day at work.  We were blessed with the fact that my mother and the hubby were able to bring the Reporter to me in the morning and I could drive home for her afternoon feeding between clients.  My employer was completely supportive of this arrangement (It certainly helped that she, too, had nursed her babies--there's that motherhood bond thing again).  Not only did it make my transition back to work smoother (hello, seeing your new baby twice a day and having a bath in oxytocin as you nurse), I was happier and more productive because I didn't spend time *thinking* about being with my baby all day.  I also missed less work because I had a super-healthy girl (I didn't miss any sick days for her in her first year of life!).  It was a win-win situation all the way around.

Unfortunately, there was still that little issue of no more than X-number of hours away from my baby at a time.  This didn't allow for more fun-time for mommy or any date-nights away.  But, you know what? I survived.  WE survived.  And in the the grand scheme of things, it was a blink in time.  Sure, it was tough and there were times that I wanted to just spend A DAY ALONE, for ME.  But I also knew that I was doing something that no one else could for my girl, and that made it all worth it.  And the best news was, as she got older the feedings could stretch out more and more and more, allowing for more time for me to take care of me and an occasional date or two!

We made it!  And we just knew that when we decided to have another child, that surely that one would take bottles!

 Right?!

I Make Milk. . . What's Your Superpower?

That's the phrase that started this new world of blogging for me.  I posted it as my Facebook status when The Little Guy was a few weeks old and the response was unbelievable.  Multiple "likes" and comments within minutes resulted in the Hubby challenging me to write a blog.  So here I am.  As soon as I started writing, the Hubby began to ask, "So when are you going to blog about your superpower since that's what started it all?" I thought it over and realized that I have so much to say about breastfeeding--the importance, the benefits, and my personal experiences.  I wanted to save it all up for this week--"World Breastfeeding Week"!  Last week on a road trip the Hubby and I were talking (I was knitting while he drove) about what I might include during a week of blogging about breastfeeding.  I had it all planned out in my head and along came day 1 and life happened--there were toys to play with, corn to shuck and freeze, triathlons to train for, kids to feed. . .

So here I am half-way into World Breastfeeding Week and I haven't blogged a bit about it.  Not one iota.  But then I ask myself, "Why wait until one week a year to celebrate nursing?  Why not talk about it all year long?" Why?  Because for some people this is a very uncomfortable topic.  It brings up guilt, regret, anger, frustration. . . it can be the dividing line in the world of mothering and cause hot debates among friends and in the media.  As I sit here typing, I am filled with the fear that this post will anger a friend or spark a debate.  Honestly, that is not my intention.  I am not writing about breastfeeding to make someone feel guilty--that isn't what motherhood is about--I'm writing about it to raise awareness-- To encourage new moms to stick with it, seek out help and persevere because the benefits are so numerous.

And to share my personal story. You see, breastfeeding is not easy, at least in the beginning.  It is not magical and "all-natural" as it is made out to be in some circles.  Sure, I was blessed with two babies that were quick to latch-on (and stay on and on and on. . . .) in the recovery room post delivery, but the days that followed were filled with frustration and sometimes pain.  Breastfeeding babies is a learned skill, it take patience and practice and does not necessarily come easily to every mother.  In retrospect, I realize just how lucky I have been.  Sure, we had roadblocks--oversupply, teething battles, bottle refusal, and a mommy that went back to work full-time at 4 months and 10 weeks, respectively. However, my babies were both exclusively breastfed from birth--not a drop of formula, ever.  It took patience, practice, perseverance, and support of everyone around me.  My husband and parents were 110% supportive of the decision to breastfeed and never once pressured me to think about an alternative.  Not only that, but I relied on the advice and support of friends that were seasoned mothers who had traveled this path before me and could help me reach my goal of feeding my babies my way.  I never thought to set small goals to reach as far as nursing was concerned ("Well, if I can just make it to 3 weeks, 3 months, 6 months. . . .").  I had the big picture in mind (at least one year) and was determined to make that happen--although the statistics were stacked against me.

So, stay tuned for more posts over the next few days about our "Adventures in Breastfeeding".  Not to make you feel guilty or freak you out, but to raise awareness and celebrate motherhood.