The Couple That Plays Together. . .

My husband completed his first Sprint distance Triathlon last weekend (750 meter swim, 14 mile bike, and 3.1 mile run) and I could not be more proud of his hard work and dedication to training.  Although he was somewhat disappointed with his final time, the fact that he trained for and finished the race was impressive on its own.  As busy parents, it is often hard to fit in a workout, let alone a training plan for a distance event.  I openly admit I was terribly jealous more than once when he took off to train with friends during those final weeks toward the push.  However, I would remind myself of the sacrifices he has made in the past (and as he continues to do) to allow me to train for events (triathlons, half-marathons, etc) and we worked together to make the schedule work for our family.

The night before the race, as he packed his things for each event, jealousy washed over me and I admitted that it would be difficult to stand on the sidelines.  As the words came out of my mouth, I immediately wanted to swallow them back.  I was reminded of the races that he attended and did not participate in.  All the photos he captured to document my successes and the sleep he has given up to cheer me on after a long night at work.  I felt terrible for voicing what I thought was jealousy at the time.

Race day came, and it was hot and sticky.  The Little Guy and I packed up the camera, snacks, towels and the jog stroller and went out to support the hubby with a renewed enthusiasm.  I wanted to see him do well and enjoy the race from a different vantage point this time!  (In addition, I was thankful that I would not be swimming 750m in 87 degree water and running when the mercury hit 97!)

When we arrived we met up with three other couples that the hubby had been training with.  Everyone set up their equipment and prepared for a long, hot race.  At the conclusion of the race, the group reconvened and planned a celebratory dinner for the evening and we each went our separate ways to rest and clean up before dinner.

Over pizza and beer, we shared stories of race-day excitement and workout plans, as well as jobs, kids, and life in general.  At some point in the meal, I looked around the table and something hit me.  No, it wasn’t that every family represented at the table drove the same make and model SUV (although that is a little weird) and it wasn’t that each family had children (1, 2, 3, and 4 respectively).  It wasn’t even the fact that we were the youngest couple at the table.   It was the fact that this group was beating the odds.  We had four couples at the table and each and every one was still married (to their original spouse, I do believe).  I realized that as the youngest couple, we had a beautiful example of love before us—love that works hard, plays together and stays together.  You see, everyone at that table is an athlete.  All but one had completed more than one triathlon, several have completed half-marathons, we had an incredible swimmer in our midst and everyone now cycles. 

When I mentioned this revelation to the hubby after we retrieved the kids from the sitters’, he too was impressed that these four couples could stand the test of time.  I hypothesized to him that perhaps it was due to “playing together” and he agreed that I could be correct.  I was suddenly reminded of my own parents who celebrated 37 years together last month and realized that they, too “play together” as they are currently in NY State on a cycling trip.

You see, I do love to exercise and push myself to try new things, but I don’t think I would do any of it without the support of my hubby.  When we trained for a half-marathon together last year, I looked forward to our long weekend runs together.  They were better than a date-- Just the two of us, the open road, and a few hours of conversation.  We have some of our best conversations over sweat and Powerbars.   These experiences don’t only provide us with time together (something two busy, working parents so desperately need), but it also gives us an opportunity to cheer one another on, offer support and suggestions, and see each other grow and succeed with each new challenge--Not to mention the physical benefits of working out.   Is it worth it to pay a babysitter so we can go run, bike or swim together? Absolutely.

Now before you point out that not every long standing marriage includes a couple of endorphin-crazed people, let me say this.  At our house, we are taking “playing together” literally.  However, in the marriages that I have witnessed, couples with shared interests seem to survive better than those without.  Sure, we all enjoy things separately, too—my hubby loathes the fabric and yarn store and I can live without football (shhhh—don’t tell)—but our common ground is what keeps us, well, grounded. 

So back to that feeling of jealousy that I wasn’t participating in the race last week. . . I don’t think it was jealousy at all (well, not completely).   It was sadness that we were missing out on doing an event together—as a couple.  However, there will be more events ( a half-marathon in November and a Full??  In March—eek!) to enjoy together.  And we will keep playing together to make those things happen.  And in the meantime, we will cheer each other on in our separate events to encourage one another’s growth and success.  Because we do believe that the Couple that plays together, stays together. . .

Finish Strong . . .